What does daddy mean to you?

What Does Daddy Mean To You?

By CaNon

“What does daddy mean to you,” is the question that I want all black fathers to ask themselves. As individuals we all have our own thoughts and opinions, but the emotion that guides us, Love, is the common factor that we all share. We also share the heartache from the violence that affect our children’s everyday activities. As serious as the problem is that they face, the solution is quite simple. Black fathers have got to exhibit the same sacrifice that the black mothers have done, and continue to do. We do not make enough sacrifices for our children, writer included. Relationships between men and women can function if both parties are willing to compromise. Now, let’s add parenting into the equation…you now have an extension of you that requires your guidance, rationale, sacrifice, love, and above all for you to be a good example of what a man is. Ain’t no doubt that’s a ton of responsibility thrown at you…and you still got your companion! From the looks of it, the majority of us black men shy away from ALL that responsibility. Those of us that aren’t in the house, did we leave because we tried like hell to make the relationship work and it was hopeless, or did we leave to try to alleviate some of the pressures that come with being a Man? Those of you that continue to bend within your relationship, so much that you begin to feel like a sucka, I commend you. That’s sacrifice! I’ve been in quite a few discussions about men and women staying together for the sake of the children. Myself, I really feel that whatever efforts we apply solely to our relationships must double when our offspring are involved. “You don’t have to be there to be a father,” is the most common response that I hear. That may be true, but it’s a cop out, and it’s also a statement that I hear way too often. We have been slacking so much as fathers that our women truly believe that. And the reason that they believe it is they’ve become accustomed to playing both roles. When the pipes are on the verge of bursting from the pressure, more times than not it’s the man that leaves. The women get over the men, the men get over the women, but the kids suffer. Our kids are in trouble and their plea for guidance cannot continue to be ignored. As responsible mature parents can we not put our personal bliss second to our kids best chance at success. Yes, I can still be a damn good father outside the house, but I can be an excellent dad in the house. Without an example to follow, little boy’s can’t be expected to emulate men when they grow older. Chances of promiscuity heighten when little girls grow to be young women, and have yet to experience the love and attention that fathers shower them with. The question that I ask black fathers to ask themselves was not asked to me. It was a statement that I made to a group that seemed bent on convincing me that I could be the same kind of father outside the home that I can be inside. Viewing the broken homes in our communities as a problem, I began to get upset at the nonchalant undertone they displayed. This bubbling anger, that continued to build from what I deemed as ignorance, prompted me to tell them, “For me, daddy is being there.”

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